Dreaming with Your Eyes Wide Open

What Makes You Come Alive?

There have been many times in my life where I could see a vision so clearly for myself. I could imagine being on the stage performing the character of a lifetime, seeing my name on the front cover of a book in the featured speaker stand at the local bookstore or listed as a byline in a well-known magazine, or hearing myself being interviewed on a popular radio show. In varying shades, these dreams have all come true, and yet they were only fragments of a bigger creative calling.

Six years ago, I accepted a managing director position for a local community theatre and I felt excited about being back in an environment that had brought me so much joy in my younger years. It was a perfect combination of the skills I had developed from taking the more respectable career path, intertwined with the passion I had always had for the theatre. And yet it didn’t quite fit the bill of creative fulfillment. There was still a hunger within me because it was the stage I had yearned for but couldn’t quite find my way back to after being out of character for almost two decades.

Somewhere along the way, I lost my magic—my deep desire to chase dreams that had been with me since childhood. All I could do, little by little, was pursue pieces of those dreams in whatever ways I could.

Yet the calling still called—and I kept dreaming with my eyes wide open.

What Makes You Come Alive?

Think about this question for a moment. It’s a great one to ponder as we move into a waxing crescent moon phase.

And to take it a bit deeper, ponder this quote below, then reflect on the questions underneath.

“Don’t worry about what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive and do that because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”

~ Howard Thurman

• What makes you kick up your heels and dance or skip with joy?
• What is it that you gravitate to for a bit of inspiration?
• What is it that makes you want to jump out of bed in the morning?
• What is it that makes you come alive? Is it alive within you now?
• Do you surround yourself with it? Do you immerse yourself in it?

Allow yourself to notice what triggers a sense of aliveness within you.

My Love-Hate Relationship with Visibility

When I think of my creative work and what it actually takes to bring it into being, my mind quickly goes to visibility. The truth is I want to be seen, yet I don’t.

I want to be seen on the stage performing in character or delivering a powerful speech. I want my words to be read in a book and my message received with adoration. But if I’m being honest, I have a fear of being seen as imperfect. I have a fear of people saying, “Who does she think she is?”

It’s something I’ve spent a lifetime working through, developing my courage to just put myself and my work out there and trusting the outcome. It will never be perfect, but it’s in the imperfection where opportunity and potential can grow.

The creative process involves ebb and flow, giving and receiving – creating and adjusting. And to achieve my creative calling, I have to allow for changes along the way. Like the waxing and waning of the moon, the creative risks I take toward fulfillment of my creative calling require me to notice my own patterns.

And for me, it always comes back to visibility—with my resistance masking as invisibility—which stems from my underlying desire for perfection. It gives me pause—every time, causing me to fight the urge to hide.

Exploring Old Patterns

One of my favorite quotes about life lessons comes from spiritual teacher Pema Chodron. “Nothing ever goes away until it teaches us what we need to know.”

As you ponder your own larger calling, noticing where you tend to get stuck time and time again, pay close attention to where a life lesson is wanting to be learned. What keeps returning repeatedly? What emotional pattern is keeping you spinning?

We always have a choice in everything. We can choose to see the glass as half full or half empty. We can choose to learn something new, gain a new perspective, or alter a direction – or not. And what happens when we choose the latter?

Notice the patterns you have when you are up against a challenging or an uncomfortable situation or any life scenario that brings pain, frustration, doubt or anger.

What happens when you choose to see the glass half empty? How does this mindset halt you, keeping you in a constant spinning of wheels?

And what happens when you choose to see the glass half full? How does this shift in mindset alter the creative path you are on? What opens up as a result?

Take a moment to reflect on what life is trying to teach you as you embark on a new path of possibility. How will learning the lesson open the door to your full creative potential?

A Journey of a Thousand Steps

Embarking on a journey toward creative fulfillment, I am mindful of the many twists and turns that the path might take. I may not have always had a clear destination in mind, but my childhood dreams never escaped me. They were always hovering, and without fully knowing it, I was always moving with them.

What might have felt like a detour, such as my twenty-plus years in public service, actually helped prepare me for those moments when I had to step into the spotlight or on the stage to claim my authentic voice. Without those experiences, I might have wrestled with my courage, avoiding opportunities that could open doors that didn’t come so easily.

My years as a public servant provided a résumé in which to stake my credentials. It was the building block on which I stood to wave the banner for creatives everywhere. It was the platform that held me high as I proclaimed that artists, writers, musicians, and performers were just as critical to the economy and to everyday life as our scientists, medical professionals, small business owners, and corporate executives. We are all part of a larger fabric that keeps life connected and whole, and pushing that conversation front and center has become part of my life’s work.

I will admit it hasn’t been easy. I’ve encountered a lot of naysayers along the way who have only viewed creative work through the lens of a hobby. How can I possibly earn a living at it, they ask. That is what I have to keep pushing toward day by day, step by step, and I’m still moving forward—waving the banner, opening one door at a time.

Society tends to recognize pomp and circumstance, giant leaps, and big splashes probably because they are easily recognizable. What’s less noticeable are the small steps that it takes to reach a particular destination or to achieve a specific goal. And yet when we get there, it’s the small steps—the work that it actually takes to accomplish the mission—that we often find ourselves reflecting on.

Imagine taking an evening swim in the ocean. The light of the moon is reflecting on each wave as you float along with what is. Relax and take several deep breaths and ponder the ebb and flow of your creative process and your creative life as it is right now.

• As you think about your creative calling and the larger vision being expressed through your creative voice, what is coming to life for you?
• And how does this creative expression inspire you on an emotional level? What emotions begin to stir when you think about your creative potential?
• Do you feel confident in the direction you are moving toward? Or a little hesitant?
• Thinking about your creative process as a whole, how important is control to you? When something feels out of your control, internally or externally, how do you instinctively respond? And when something is within your control, what is your natural response?

I invite you to reflect on these questions in the waxing crescent moon phase, embracing the core of who you are when you’re feeling fully alive—dreaming with your eyes wide open.